Sidney Crosby’s One-Goal, Two-Assist Performance Saves Hockey

November 22, 2007

Nothing like the Onion to start a holiday morning. Happy Thanksgiving, hockey fan(s).
clipped from www.theonion.com
After a decades-long decline in fan interest that reached its nadir with the loss of an entire season to labor strife, the National Hockey League was rescued by the efforts of reigning MVP Sidney Crosby, whose goal and two assists against the New Jersey Devils restored the league to the heights of its former glory.
“What a truly momentous day for the rejuvenation of the great sport of ice hockey,” Commissioner Gary Bettman said of Crosby’s transcendent performance in a point-grabbing overtime that brought the Penguins within striking distance of fourth place.
Bettman also acknowledged single-goal, two-assist performances from 13 other NHL players including Chris Chelios, Dany Heatley, and Todd White, but emphasized that, unlike Crosby, they had not saved the NHL.
Hockey is surely saved now.
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